Her Adoring SEAL (Midnight Delta Book 3) Read online

  “Look at me, Elsbeth.” She did, scared not to.

  “Even crying, you’re beautiful. I’ll be back for you.”

  “Berto!”

  “Remember, we own your father, if you say anything, well, let’s just say bad things would happen. Do you understand?”

  She just stared up at a monster.

  “Elsbeth! Tell me you understand.”

  She nodded, trying to focus despite the pain radiating between her legs.

  “Say the words.”

  The door pushed open. “Come on, Berto, we have to go.” Alfonso Guzman ignored her.

  “Elsbeth, don’t you have something to say?”

  “I’ll tell no one.”

  “Very good.” He turned to his father. “I’m ready. We have reservations, don’t we?” The door closed behind the two men.

  “Beth, honey. Can you hear me?”

  “Lydia?” It sounded like she was far away. Beth shook her head to clear it.

  “Oh thank God, you’re back with me.” Beth looked at her sister. She was crying. Then she realized she’d actually said all of it out loud.

  “Ahhh, Lydia, I never meant to tell you.” Lydia grasped her shoulders and pulled her close. She was shaking.

  “Oh baby girl. I’m sorry, so sorry.”

  She pulled the afghan from the back of the couch and wrapped it around Beth’s shoulders.

  “I don’t understand. Why didn’t you tell Mama or Papa?” Lydia seemed to shimmer in front of her. She shook her head.

  “Tell me. I want to understand.”

  “You were off at University. I spent so much time at the office with Papa. The Guzman’s work was almost all of his business,” Beth whispered. “He wouldn’t have a business without them.”

  “It wouldn’t have mattered. You know that. You have to have known that.”

  Beth clutched the blanket tighter trying to control the shivers. She remembered back to that time. Remembered pushing herself up off the floor, and somehow making it to the little restroom. She’d cleaned up and gone back to filing. She’d hidden it away in a box and most times it never entered her consciousness. But still it had loomed large. She’d changed everything about her life. School had scared her. She could only handle small gatherings. She took stairs instead of elevators to avoid closed in spaces with men. From that day forward she’d lived a different life.

  “It wasn’t important, I managed.”

  “Dammit. I should’ve seen this. There were signs. There were so many things going on in this family I should’ve seen if I wasn’t so focused on my own goals.” Lydia sounded furious. Beth reached out to pat her hand.

  “Lydia, it’s okay.”

  “Oh honey, I don’t need your reassurance.” Lydia saw Beth’s hand was trembling. “Hold on a second, I want to get you something warm to drink.”

  “I’m not thirsty.”

  “You need to keep your strength up, and I want to talk to you about something else. We’re going to finally clear the air once and for all.”

  Beth had no idea what she was talking about, but she sat there while Lydia went in the kitchen. Beth heard her rustling around but she wasn’t really paying much attention. She was glad her father was finally trying his best to bring the monster’s father to justice. Hopefully when he testified in the next few days they’d find evidence against Berto and he’d go to prison.

  “Here honey, drink this.”

  Lydia wrapped Beth’s hands around a warm mug. Inhaling the scent of chocolate and cinnamon made Beth smile.

  “You used Mama’s recipe.”

  “Of course.”

  Beth sipped her cocoa, and rested against Lydia as she sat beside her on the sofa. They sat that way until she finished her drink.

  “Did you ever tell your counselor about this?”

  “Hmm? No, we just talked about the cabin.”

  “You were letting Jack touch you again today. I’ve seen him with his arm around you. Has he kissed you?” Beth’s cheeks heated and it wasn’t from the hot chocolate.

  “Why are you asking me?”

  “Because all things considered it’s a fucking miracle. Now answer the question. Have you let the man kiss you?”

  “Yes.”

  Lydia plucked the mug out of her hands, put it on the floor, and flung her arms around Beth crying out with joy. Beth hugged her back. It felt so good for someone else to finally know everything.

  “Tell me about him.”

  “He’s wonderful. He’s so patient and so kind. He seems to know what I need even when I don’t know. I feel safe with him.”

  “He’s damn good to look at too.”

  “I hadn’t noticed,” Beth said primly and both women laughed. When they finally caught their breath, Lydia continued her questioning.

  “How far have these kisses gone?”

  “I freeze. It’s so unfair to him. I’ve told him we have to stop. As soon as this whole mess is over with I’m going to insist he leave me alone. He needs a real woman. A whole woman.”

  Lydia sucked in her breath. “What did he say to that?”

  “No.”

  “You need to tell me what he said,” Lydia insisted, misunderstanding Beth.

  “That’s what he said, ‘no’. He said he’s not letting me go.”

  “I knew I liked him, now I think I love him.”

  “Be serious.”

  “I am serious. If you can kiss him you can do more. Your body is responding, and he’s patient. But you need to be honest with him. He needs to know everything he’s up against.”

  Beth closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “It’s not that easy. I’m scared. Every time he tries to touch my breasts I flash back to the room. If he were to ever try anything more...I know it’s going to hurt. I never flash back to the cabin because it’s not the same thing. I don’t know why.”

  “It could be any number of reasons. You talked about the cabin with Nancy. It was a totally different situation—not nearly as intimate. You weren’t so young. It was your first time with a man.”

  “Enough already.”

  “I’m just saying, who the hell knows why you react that way. Bottom line, do you know it won’t hurt?”

  Beth turned away from Lydia’s gaze.

  “Shit.”

  “I know logically what happens. It’s just I don’t think it will happen for me. I don’t think my body is capable of becoming aroused. So I think it’s always going to hurt.”

  “So tell Jack. Let him know you have that concern. He’ll back off if it’s hurting you. It’s different with each man. I’ve been more aroused with some than others. If Jack is anything like Clint, he’ll know what to do, and he’ll make sure you feel pleasure.”

  “But I don’t want to tease him.”

  “You need to talk to him first.”

  Beth took a deep breath. It’s the first time she really had hope. She was pretty sure she loved this man. Beth wanted a chance to make this work, so she’d take her sister’s advice.

  Chapter Eleven

  Jack thought he might throw up.

  Guzman was going to die! Done deal.

  But the most important thing was Beth.

  “Now can I hold you?” Beth trembled so hard, he thought she might fly apart. She’d insisted on sitting a cushion away from him on the couch, and he’d respected her request. As she told more of her story it slowly killed him. He’d never seen her so pale, not even in the hospital.

  “I don’t know. Do you want to?”

  “Fuck yeah, I want to.” He knew his face didn’t show his real emotions, that he looked calm and supportive. It was a countenance he’d perfected dealing with his mom when they were living in the women’s shelter.

  “Come on over here, would you girl?” It was important she make the first move. She flung herself at him. Gripping him tight around the waist, and she was making little mewling noises.

  “I’ve got you.” He stroked her hair, and laid kisses wherever he could r
each. She rocked side to side, and he rocked with her. Finally he picked her up and put her on his lap. She cuddled but still didn’t lift her face from his chest. The mewling stopped though, and he took that as a good thing.

  Beth coughed.

  “Sweetheart, do you want some water?” She nodded into his chest. Extricating himself, he took the moment to look at her face, and then he kissed the tip of her nose. “Be right back.”

  He took the time in the kitchen to take a few deep breaths. Pictures of a young Beth lying in a heap in some dusty little room kept flashing in front of him. He pushed his balled up hands into his eyes, trying to relieve the pressure and get rid of the images. It didn’t work. He got Beth her glass of water and went back to the sofa in the living room.

  Crouched in front of her, he flashed back to the first time he met her in the Dallas hospital. “Drink this.” She finished it, and he set it on the coffee table. He picked her up and settled her on his lap again.

  “I’m sorry that happened to you, Beth. No child deserves to have their innocence taken away.”

  She snorted. “Your mom told me about your dad. You went through much worse. I wasn’t even raped.”

  He tilted her chin so she was forced to look him in the eye.

  “This isn’t some kind of contest. And no, this isn’t even in the same ballpark. You were too raped. We’re not going to get technical but he raped you sweetheart, and what’s worse, he raped your soul.” Tears welled, and two fell from her eyes.

  “Jack, I don’t know what to do. I feel so broken inside. You keep saying you’re not letting me go, but now you have to see there isn’t any hope.”

  For the first time since she started talking Jack gave her a real smile.

  “You’ve got it wrong. Now there is hope. Now I know we’re going to make it. It amazes me how responsive you’ve been so far, but now that you’ve told me and Lydia you can finally move forward. Sure it might take some time, but sweetheart, you’re the furthest thing from broken there is.”

  She stared into the distance, and eventually looked at him with a tentative smile. “It doesn’t feel as heavy in my heart anymore.”

  “That’s what happens when you share a burden, it lightens.”

  “It has.”

  “I’m glad. Because I want you to listen to me and really hear me.” He waited for her to look at him, her black eyes warmed and she nodded.

  “I’m listening. You can tell me anything, Jack.”

  “Good, because I don’t think you’ve been ready for me to say this before.” He cupped the side of her face, and traced her bottom lip with his thumb. “I love you, Beth. Not the love and admiration of a friend kind of love. The kind of love where I see us on a front porch when we’re ninety with great grandkids running around. I’ll still want to hold you in my arms as we drift asleep each night. That kind of love.”

  He watched her struggle, and felt a monumental sense of relief when she didn’t immediately say she couldn’t be what he needed.

  Her fingers gripped her opal pendant, and she bit her lip.

  “Sweetheart. Talk to me.”

  “I still have trouble seeing past my own shadows, so the future is tough for me, okay?”

  He nodded. It made sense

  “But you Jack Preston...you, I see just fine. You fill my vision and light my way. I love you so much, and it’s not because I need you, or depend on you. It’s because you’re such a loving, strong, and caring man. I might not be able to see the front porch scene yet, but I want it. I love you too. I love you. I love you. I love you.”

  “Halleluiah!” He hugged her tight, she started to laugh, and so did he. Tonight was the night they officially made love. They might not have physically come together, but their souls had finally joined. Much later, she drifted off to sleep in his arms, and Jack stood up to take her to the bedroom.

  “What?” Beth asked groggily.

  “Sleep, sweetheart, I have you.” He walked down the hall and opened the door to her bedroom. Checking to make sure everything seemed in order, he placed Beth in the middle of the bed. When he went to stand up, Beth grabbed his shirt.

  “Don’t leave,” she said softly.

  “I’m not going anywhere you don’t want me to go.” Jack stared down at Beth, she looked like a rumpled angel. “Let me get you out of these shoes and under the covers.”

  “You’ll stay with me, won’t you?”

  “Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”

  After he got her situated under the covers, he stretched out on top of the duvet and tucked her close to his side.

  “Thank you, Jack, I don’t think I could have gone back to sleep without you here with me.”

  “Well that’s good news, because I couldn’t have rested tonight if you weren’t in my arms.” She kissed the bottom of his chin, and was soon breathing deeply.

  ****

  The next morning the Hidalgo family intended to get together one more time before the trial the following day, but Beth was still asleep at ten in the morning when Lydia called.

  “She’s still asleep, yesterday was hard on her. She needs to stay in and rest today.”

  “Did she talk to you?” Lydia asked tentatively.

  “Yes she did. Thank you for telling her she needed to speak to me.” Jack paused, it took him a moment to clear his throat and come up with the right words. “I think it helped her. God, I hope it did.”

  “How...” Lydia paused. “How are you doing? I mean how did you react?”

  “How did I react? I’m pissed as fuck! Somebody is going to die. But for her sake I didn’t show it. All that’s important is she feel loved and safe, so I stayed calm.”

  “Exactly right. You’re doing it exactly right, Jack.”

  “Stupid isn’t part of the recruiting criteria for SEALs, Lydia. I thought you knew that by now.”

  She laughed. “Just take care of my baby sister. I’ll take care of my parents. I’ll also make sure my papa still has at least some of his manly parts attached.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “I just mean you shouldn’t think Beth or I are stupid either. Goodbye.”

  Jack grinned as he hung up the phone, and then he went to the living room window to see who was on duty. He waved to Terry and Chris who had taken over for Lou and Mike. After making another pot of coffee he checked on Beth. Half the time during the night when she was so restless he’d thought it was because she was still dressed, but he didn’t want to wake her up so she could get into her sleep shirt. She was still in her clothes from the day before with the covers bunched around her waist. At least now she seemed to be really sleeping. He went into the other room and closed the door behind him.

  Grabbing his phone he called a familiar number. “Hi Jack, how’s California?”

  “It’s bad and it’s good, Mom.” Jack’s voice broke. He looked down the hall, and realized he couldn’t trust the door wouldn’t open.

  “Are you all right? Is Beth?”

  “We’re fine now. Hold on.” He went to the laundry room and shut the door. He rested his back against it before continuing to talk. “I’m back.”

  “Can you talk now? Tell me.” And he did. It rushed out of him like a breaking wave. Jack didn’t know everything he said, or what words he used. Every time he stopped his Mom would gently prod him along. He heard her tears, and realized his face was wet.

  “She didn’t deserve this Mom. I know this happens. I know you suffered so much. But she didn’t deserve this.”

  “Nobody does.”

  “What can I do to help her?”

  “You listen to her, and you love her. It’s the two things you’re already doing, son.”

  “It doesn’t seem like enough.”

  “It is. Trust me, it is. It also sounds like I might have a daughter-in-law soon.”

  “Damn straight.” Jack grinned, and then he heard a sound coming from the kitchen.

  “I’ve got to go.”

  “I l
ove you. You give my love to Beth.”

  He hung up the phone. He opened the door and found Beth opening the dishwasher. “What do you need?”

  “I’m getting a bowl for some cereal.” She was freshly showered.

  “What kind?” he asked, opening the pantry door. She didn’t answer him, and when he turned around she was blushing.

  “Froot Loops it is.” He laughed. Grabbing the box from the pantry, he put it on the table and got the milk from the refrigerator. He snagged a bowl and spoon for himself, and sat down at the table with her.

  “When did you become a fan of Toucan Sam?” Jack asked, indicating the colorful bird on the outside of the box.

  “Since forever. And don’t try to take the prize from the cereal box, Preston, it’s all mine,” Beth said as she poured her milk into the cereal bowl.

  “You think you can really take it from me?”

  “I fight dirty. Lydia never won the prize, and she was older. The prize always goes to me.” She smirked. Beth took her first bite of cereal and a smile suffused her face. “This is bliss.” Jack ate a spoonful. It wasn’t bliss, but seeing Beth act so carefree after all of the horror of yesterday was a gift from Heaven.

  “Your family left to visit the beach. They said they’d call you when they’re done.”

  “Lydia didn’t tell Mama and Papa about Berto, did she?” Beth’s spoon clattered into her bowl, spilling milk and cereal everywhere.

  “Oh sweetheart, I can’t imagine she would tell anyone without your permission.” He got up to get some paper towels. Squatting beside her, he cleaned up the mess.

  “Are you sure?” It was quite telling Beth didn’t want her parents to know about it. They were the two people she should have relied on through the harrowing experience.

  Jack threw the soiled paper in the trash, then came back and hugged Beth. “I’m absolutely positive. She would never betray your trust.” She relaxed into his hold, her breath sighing against his neck.

  “I really should be with them. Papa testifies tomorrow. This is the last day for us to spend as a family before his ordeal.” Jack couldn’t give a shit less.

  “Sweetheart, Lydia has it covered. Anyway, I have a surprise for you today.”