Her Adoring SEAL (Midnight Delta Book 3) Page 6

  “Richard had to contend with the same thing when he first met me. I didn’t think I would ever be able to have a relationship after what your father had done.”

  “I thought he had to convince you he was good enough, and he wouldn’t hurt you.” Jack thought back to his childhood years when Richard was courting his mother.

  “No, he had to help me see I was good enough.”

  Jack sat in the chair next to his mother’s and really looked at her. It had been a long time since they had talked about the years they spent with his biological father.

  “Do you still think about him? Do you still have nightmares?”

  “Do you, Jack?”

  He stopped himself from immediately giving a negative response.

  “I was on a mission last year. I won’t go into the details.”

  “I’m glad. I try not to worry too much when you’re overseas, but I do. I always pray for your safe return.”

  “I appreciate it. Anyway, we rescued a kid. He just turned thirteen, the son of an American oil executive, and he’d been kidnapped and held for ransom. The kidnapper was a sadist.”

  His mother rested her hand on his knee and squeezed.

  “The boy, Kevin, is doing better now.”

  “You’ve been having nightmares?” she said knowingly.

  “Yeah. It brought back those years with him.” Even now, a trained Navy SEAL, and his dreams could take him back to the scared six year old whose father was such a monster, and had held all the power.

  “But, Mom, I don’t get it, why does Beth feel damaged? Why did you?” Looking at the beautiful woman in front of him, he couldn’t imagine her thinking of herself as broken. As ‘less than’.

  “Didn’t you? Isn’t it why you had to ride the wildest horses? Drive the fastest car? Win every fight against the biggest kids in school? Become a SEAL? Weren’t you trying to prove you weren’t that defenseless boy?”

  “To begin with, yes, but halfway through college I wanted to start helping others. I already knew I was the baddest thing out there, and I wanted to use it in defense of others. But, Mom, I never felt I was unlovable or somehow not worthy, only powerless.”

  “I think the type of touch Beth and I endured is somehow so degrading that you feel defiled. I don’t know how many times I rubbed myself raw in the shower, trying to get clean. I couldn’t imagine anyone else thinking I was good enough.”

  Jack blinked back tears, he’d had no idea his mother ever felt like that.

  “Then, there was the fact I didn’t think I could ever handle a man’s touch again. It took a long time for Richard to convince me otherwise.”

  “Jesus, Mom. I wish I’d known, I could’ve helped.”

  “It wasn’t something you could have helped with. I thank God for Richard coming into my life. Into our lives. I think Beth is going to ultimately feel the same way about you.”

  “She lets me hold her. And holding Beth is better than anything else I’ve done with other women.” Jack remembered how soft and right she felt in his arms, and he ached to have her there again.

  “Then she’s definitely the one.”

  “I think so too, but we still have a lot of hurdles to cross. I want to help her, and coax her but not pressure her. I’m not sure I know the difference.”

  “Oh honey, I trust you. You have great instincts.”

  ****

  Sometimes, it felt like Boone was the only one who understood Beth.

  “Isn’t that right, boy?” The dog pushed closer as she sat on the top step of the porch. Her emotions had been up and down for the last two days. She was still replaying the kiss in the hospital. Sometimes, she felt like there might be a future with Jack. But most of the time she knew there couldn’t be.

  Boone whined. She’d been squeezing him too tightly.

  “I’m sorry, boy. I can’t seem to do anything right.”

  “I wouldn’t say that’s true.” Jack had been silent this time when he had stepped onto the porch.

  “Are you okay, Beth?”

  “Sure.” She didn’t look up, preferring to keep her face hidden in the scruff of Boone’s neck.

  “Why don’t you think you can do anything right?”

  “Because I can’t.” Her fingers dug into the dog’s fur, and once again, he whined. She let go of him and he darted down the stairs. Yep, nothing right, I can’t even keep the dog by my side.

  “Beth, you’re an amazing woman. I think you’ve had a hell of a lot to deal with. It takes a while to heal.”

  She laughed, and then winced. She hated the bitter sound that came out of her mouth.

  “I think you need a hug.”

  “Not even Boone wanted a hug from me.”

  “Look up, sweetheart, there’s a rabbit in the garden. You’re never going to compete.”

  “Seriously, Jack, I’m not good company.”

  “Let me make my own decision.” He sat beside her, and his warmth felt good even though she didn’t want it to.

  “Beth, you know this takes time.”

  “I’ve resigned myself to it never getting better. It’s too high a mountain to climb.” She pulled her knees up and rested her head over her crossed arms.

  “Mom thought that. Hell, I thought that myself too.”

  She peeked at him through her lashes, and saw him gazing off into the distance.

  “Is this about your real dad?”

  “It was bad. I don’t know everything that happened between Mom and Dad. From some of what she’s told me, it was awful.” Beth rested one hand on his shoulder.

  “She tried to protect me as best she could. Dad threatened to kill me if she tried to leave. She didn’t have a job or family...I remember always feeling helpless. I wanted to help protect her. I hated feeling so defenseless. So weak.”

  “Exactly!” Jack did understand!

  “All I can tell you is for me and my mom it got better.”

  “Your mom is stronger than I am.”

  “I think the world of my mom. But you, Elsbeth Hildago, are extraordinary.”

  She looked into Jack’s deep blue eyes and saw nothing but sincerity. He made her want to climb mountains.

  “Come on, what say you and I go visit the horses. You’re not up for riding yet, but they’ve missed you.”

  “No they haven’t.”

  “You’ve claimed the heart of damn near every creature on this ranch.” He stood and brushed off the back of his jeans, affording her a fine view of his ass. He turned in time to see her admiring glance. He gave her a slow grin as he held out his hand.

  “Let’s go to the barn.” She blushed as she took his hand.

  Midway across the yard, he draped his arm over her shoulder and she leaned into him.

  Chapter Eight

  “Jack, we have a major fucking problem.” His heart beat fast for a moment, and then returned to its normal rhythm. Now was the time for calm.

  “What’s the problem, Mason?”

  “Somehow it got into the system that Elsbeth Hildago was a patient at the San Antonio hospital.”

  Jack didn’t say anything. It shouldn’t have been possible, but obviously, it was. No use crying over spilled milk. Instead he needed to focus on how to contain the damage.

  “What options are you considering, Sir?”

  “Clint wants her to go with him and Lydia.”

  “That’s a negative. We wanted them separate for a reason, it’s still valid now.”

  “That’s what I think, but her cover is blown in San Antonio. What’s more, you’re on file as her fiancé. We need her transferred to somewhere new and split from you, too.”

  “That’s a negative too, Sir.”

  “You don’t have a choice, soldier. It’s an order.”

  “You don’t understand the situation. This is the woman I’m going to marry. Where she goes, I go.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “You heard me. She doesn’t know it yet, so keep it to yourself, but I intend to
marry Beth.”

  “You’re a stubborn son of a bitch, Preston.” Jack heard the other man sigh. “Okay, I hear you. We’ll make this work. You and Beth will stay together.”

  “Thanks, Mason. You won’t regret this. I’ll protect her with my life.”

  Jack brushed his thumb over the blank screen of his phone. It was an earthshattering moment to realize you were so in love you intended to marry someone. But there it was. He intended to spend the rest of his life with Beth, and nobody was going to come between them. Except maybe Beth. He loved her so much that if this truly wasn’t what she wanted he’d step back. It would kill him, but he would do it.

  But he would bet anything if she wasn’t in love with him now, it was a near thing. What was stopping her was her fear of intimacy and failing. But he would do everything in his power to make sure those fears would not stop her from having her dreams come true. He had a goal. SEALs worked well with goals. SEALs achieved their goals. Jack smiled.

  ****

  Two hours later he got the call from Clint with the plan. He and Beth would be going to the Los Angeles area.

  “It’ll be close enough to San Diego that we’ll be able to rotate in plenty of back-up. You can get lost in L.A. County. In the meantime, Lydia and I’ll be in San Diego.”

  “You’re bringing the sisters that close together? Is it wise?”

  “We want to keep them close together so there will be plenty of back-up for protection.”

  “Where exactly will Beth and I be?”

  “Santa Monica.” Jack wasn’t too familiar with the city, but he’d been there. “Is this a safe house the US Marshals are providing?”

  “Hell no. It’s another SEAL—his girlfriend’s house. She’s going to stay with him. It’s not as isolated as your ranch, and it’s not going to be as easy to protect, but we have the personnel.”

  Jack mulled over what Clint told him, and realized he wasn’t being told everything. “You can’t be stretched that thin. Where are her parents being stashed?”

  Clint chuckled. “I like you, Jack.”

  “Cut the shit.”

  “They’re going to be close by too. They’ve moved the trial venue to California,” Clint explained.

  “Doesn’t it have to stay in the same state?”

  “Apparently not since it’s a federal case. Too much publicity and too many threats in Texas, so they moved it to LA.”

  “Why the hell didn’t you say so in the first place?”

  “Because we’re still arguing with the Marshals. Right now the girl’s parents are still with Finn in the frozen tundra of Middle America. The Marshals are demanding for the next move they be in charge of their care.”

  “That’s a bad move. The Marshals were infiltrated before, what makes them think they won’t be again?” Jack asked.

  “Because they would work with a small team in California.”

  “Will Beth be able to see her parents? Will she be able to see Lydia?”

  “Hell Jack, until I’m satisfied that the Marshals have cleaned house, there is only going to be contact between Lydia and Beth.”

  Jack sighed in relief. He was in total agreement.

  “But Preston, I have a question for you.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Does Beth know your intentions?”

  Jack took a deep breath. “You mean what I said to Mason?”

  “That’d be what I’m talking about.”

  “I didn’t know it’s how I felt until the words came out of my mouth. So no, she doesn’t know. When I’ve tried to broach any kind of relationship she shuts down. She doesn’t think she’s capable. It’s my job to prove to her otherwise.”

  “Gotchya. Let me tell you, these Hidalgo women are worth it.”

  Jack grinned. “So, when do we leave?”

  “Tonight.”

  “I better go tell Beth.”

  ****

  Something was up. Jack had been holed up in his father’s study for the last three hours, and he’d missed their riding lesson. It was the second one they were going to have since she had gotten home from the hospital, and she knew only something important would have made him miss it. She was nervous, so she was out in the garden with Boone.

  The dog barked his welcome, and she looked over her shoulder to see Jack walking over towards her with a strained smile. She gave a tentative smile in return, and stood brushing the dirt off her jeans.

  “Sweetheart, I have some good news and a change in plans.”

  “So no bad news?” She knew Jack, he would try to protect her. He wouldn’t want to worry her. There was some bad news hidden somewhere.

  “The good news is you’re going to be able to see Lydia sooner than we thought.”

  “Is she all right?”

  “She’s fine. They’ve decided to move the trial from Texas to California. So all of you are going to be moving. Lydia is going to San Diego, your parents are going to Los Angeles and we’re going to Santa Monica.”

  “I’m still not good with the geography of the United States, but aren’t all of those places in California?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought we’re supposed to be kept far apart. This doesn’t make sense.”

  Jack took a deep breath.

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “It’s because they can keep more Navy personnel guarding all of you if you’re in the Southern California area. They wouldn’t put you in harm’s way. If they say it’s okay for all of you to be in the same area until the trial, then it’s okay.”

  “Can I talk to Lydia today?”

  “Better than that. You’ll get to see her tomorrow.”

  He was trying too hard, and Beth understood why. She appreciated his efforts, but she was tired of it. If she didn’t start standing up for herself she was always going to be treated like a delicate little girl. Stepping forward, she rested one hand on his broad chest and pushed a wayward strand of straw colored hair from his forehead.

  “Tell me the truth, I’m a big girl, I can handle it. Why do we have to leave the ranch?”

  He took in another deep breath.

  “Somehow the people at the hospital found out your real name. It’s now in the hospital records that Beth Hidalgo was a patient there, not Beth Ochoa.” She reeled backwards, but he caught both of her hands.

  “What? What is it Beth?”

  “It’s my fault. When I first woke up, they asked me my name, and I told them my real name. I did this Jack. I messed up. Madre de Dios.”

  She turned her head away in shame.

  “Look at me Beth, it’s not a problem, we adapt.”

  “It is a problem. I am an idiota.”

  “Stop it. You’re not an idiot. You’d been unconscious. You were in a lot of pain, and the doctor was asking you questions. Chances are I would have done the same thing.”

  She stopped and looked at him. He looked sincere.

  “Really?”

  “Really. I’ve had drugs for wounds and they’ve made me disoriented. It’s tough to fight the effects.”

  “You’ve been wounded?” Beth asked, zeroing in on the most important thing he’d said—at least to her.

  “Just a couple of times, and they weren’t bad. I’ve been lucky.”

  Beth thought it would be rude to ask what happened or where he was injured, but she wanted to know.

  “We leave tomorrow?”

  “No, Beth, we leave immediately. Your location has been compromised. Dad is going to take mom on a vacation for the next couple of weeks just to be on the safe side. She and Rosa are inside packing.” Jack let go of one of her hands, and brushed her bottom lip where she was biting it.

  “Sweetheart, you’re biting so hard you’ll bleed.”

  “I’ve ruined everything. I need to go in and say good-bye.”

  “I’ll go with you, and you haven’t ruined anything. Mom is over the moon at the idea of a vacation with dad. She said she’s been trying to get him away from
work for two years. She’s going to kiss you.”

  “Mmm hmm.” Jack tugged her hand and drew her towards the house. That was the thing about him. He was always on her side, and she was going to be the same way. She pulled back.

  “Everything’s fine.” He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. Every good intention washed away. He deserved better than her. He needed someone who wasn’t broken. Here he was, having to clean up her screw-up. But she couldn’t resist the lure of his hug, and she snuggled in.

  He smelled so good, like leather, soap, and a scent that was just Jack. He was so big compared to her, but she always felt safe when he was near. She relaxed for the moment and basked in his strength, enjoying it while she could. Soon enough they’d have to part.

  ****

  “Shoo. I want to talk to Beth alone.” Beth loved the look of warm indulgence on Jack’s face.

  “Yes, Mom. But remember she and I have to leave in the next hour.”

  “Well the sooner you leave, the sooner she and I will be done. Now shoo.” He chuckled and left.

  Rosa already left Grace’s bedroom, so it was just the two of them.

  “Come and sit down, honey.” She patted a spot on the bed beside her, and Beth sat down. She had no idea what Jack’s mother might have to say, but she was ready for anything.

  “I can’t tell you how impressed I am with you.” Well, anything but that.

  Beth stared at Jack’s mother.

  “I’m serious. You experienced a terrible trauma, you’ve been on the run, and then there was the damn snake, and yet you’ve kept it all together. You’re a remarkable young woman. I only see one problem.”

  Here it comes.

  “You don’t know how special you are.”

  “Grace, I don’t think you’re seeing things clearly. I still have nightmares. I’m still scared of so much. I’m the one who told my real name and now we all have to leave. I’ve messed up things badly and I’m like a little scared bunny.”

  Grace laughed. “That’s exactly what I mean. Real courage is doing things despite being scared. You haven’t hidden away and stayed in your bedroom. You have dealt with your fears and interacted with my husband and David, even though they reminded you of your attackers.”